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When You Buy A Life Sized Mirror To Improve Your Selfie Game

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As many of you know, I’m sort of on a journey, as cheesy as that sounds. It’s one of self-improvement and self-reflection, hopefully resulting in good change, not just lip service to  change. I’ve been taking a deeper look at what I need to work on and where I’ve gotten lazy. In what area’s of my life could I use a swift kick in the tale? I’m doing my best to ask God to reveal and refine and change me from the inside out. I’m also taking a lot of selfies.

There are a lot of them actually(things that need to change that is), after last year, the year of lazy.  We all have those seasons, so there is no shame there.  However, my goal is to make this season a better one by making better choices for myself, choices that in turn help my family and life outside of the walls of our home.

So I’ve been working on me. On being more organized. On being more proactive. On saying no more. On making fewer excuses.  On seizing the day.  On being a better wife, more present and aware mom, and a brighter light in a sometimes darkened world. I read a post this week about social media and kids. I’ll post the link at the bottom of this post.  Hang with me, there is a connection here to all the thoughts floating out through my fingers.

This article I read has gotten a lot of attention.  It’s a powerful and pointed post about the dangers of social media for kids and how present and aware and WISE parents in 2018 need to be when raising them. It’s a war out there for the minds and souls of our babes.  As I read it, I welled up with tears knowing we too have a middle schooler in the midst of all this garbage and crap and mess that is social media and online gaming and mobile devices and Instagram and Facebook and Snapchat and ALL THE THINGS.

It’s absolutely overwhelming, but it got me thinking…….what kind of example am I setting in the way I interact online?  What sort of footprint am I leaving?  What do I allow myself to search for, to see, to ponder, or to look at twice? What do I think about as I scroll aimlessly through the rabbit hole that is Instagram or Instastories? It’s not just about what it does to me, but what I do with it. 

As I started the 80 Day Obsession, I considered keeping it completely private. I thought,  does this mean I have to post sports bra pics of my abs to get people to believe that what I’m doing is working?  (If you do this, go you, but it’s just not where I’m comfortable for now. Maybe this will change, we shall see). Believe it or not, I’m an introvert. I love days at home just me, myself, and my thoughts. I love to run alone and sit at Starbucks with my ear buds and coffee and not tell a single soul.  I love deep thoughts and trying to solve all the world’s problems.  I love to write and to hold onto things that are private, even though I have a blog.  Ironic, yes. 

So, when I decided to make something very private rather public, I had to get comfortable with being a bit uncomfortable.  I also had to figure out how I was going to share this journey in a way that was true to who I am with a message that held value, not just self-glorification. 

I had a lot of fear around what message this would send.  When I post selfies taken in my brand new life-sized super cute Wayfair mirror, what message am I sending? This is where I get completely tripped up you guys.

Completely. tripped. up.

How do I post a weight loss journey and navigate the fitness world online with integrity and with the RIGHT message? Agh.

I’m a personal trainer. And I LOVE encouraging people, specifically women, to be healthy and to love who they are. To pursue their passions relentlessly and to be brave and bold and healthy right in their own skin.  In order to share some of my change, I have to show myself, my workouts, proof I’m staying accountable to my program and that hard work pays off.  I’m showing you that the system or workouts are in fact working.  I’m showing “results.”

I’m bombarded every day in this online space with shredded abs and workout video’s and oh my gosh all the boobs and butt posts IN A THONG.  I mean you guys, when my boys get old enough to google my name, do I really want them to see their MOM showing off her peach all over Instagram?  Um no.  Just something to think about.

Is this really necessary?  Are thong bathing suites really a thing people actually still wear out in public? I don’t get it. Then again, I’m a lameo mom. Ok. I digress. My point.

Our kids can google us. Moms, our BOYS can google us.

Some of the posts I see with the shredded everything remain positive with a message that I love, other’s, not so much. There are so many women in the fitness industry online that I completely adore for their depth of soul and mindfulness around what they post, even if it contains a sports bra shredded ab pic. I’m so ok with that.  So hear me, I’m not saying the pics are wrong. The point is, I’m an adult with a fully developed brain, and hello, I struggle with navigating this. I struggle with seeing all of this every day, and with what it does to my brain and my heart when my eyes are flooded with these images. I struggle with how to engage in it.  And I think we can do better.  I think can do better.

This isn’t a post pleading for recognition or comments saying I’m doing this well. I’m simply spewing my thoughts, and my thoughts wrestle with how to navigate not just the online world, but the online fitness industry every stinking day.  And reading that article this morning about what is waiting for our kids online, it just brought all of these thoughts and feely feels back to the forefront of my brain.

If I’m being real, I bought this super cute mirror so I could get better progress pictures on my weight loss/80Day obsession journey. Good gosh. That’s hard to say. But it’s not entirely horrible. I believe showing progress is important for showing that the program works. For showing the results of great nutrition and exercise, because if we all allowed ourselves to eat better than we do and exercise daily, think of how much change could take place? How much more productive we would be and how much more content.  I believe there is so much good in this message, and pictures, specifically progress pictures, come with the territory. It can be inspiring and eye-opening right? But still, it’s tricky.

At the end of the day, I can’t control what people think of me and what I post, however, I can control what I choose to say to a watching world. Maybe not a watching world, I mean, I don’t have that many people who give a rip what I do or who I am. But to the ones who see, what message am I sending?  This is the question we need to ask before we post. Is what we post a message we want our kids to see? Or know about? Am I argumentative? Am I defensive? Am I wanting to make other’s jealous? Am I wanting to brag or boast? Am I looking for an opportunity to show off when I could choose in that moment to just not post at all? To stay quiet?  Ouch.

Is it possible to post a selfie totally boast free? I don’t know. I struggle with this one. I post them, but I always seem to wonder, what is the point of this? And who’s idea was this anyway? And then I think about young girls traveling around on social media bombarded with hashtags about abs and butts and skinny and perfect and anorexic and eating disorders and body image struggles and more buzz words and hashtags that make them feel worthless. And I think, I want to fight in this war.  I need to fight in this war.  And I want to do it on the front lines. I have a daughter for crying out loud.  I want to be a voice. To give people a fighting chance to see something that allows them to walk away feeling better about their day or their body, not worse, and to see that their value does NOT come from their physical appearance.  That’s what I want.

Because I have a daughter who is too young for all of this right now, but she won’t always be. Who do I want to be for her?  What do I want her to see when she sees her mom and what whole big truth do I want to give her as she grows out of the innocent and into the reality of the world? I want her to know true beauty comes from who God has made her to be. I want her to be firmly planted in who she is, not wavering for anyone or anything, or any message that takes her away from truth.   That she is beautiful and valuable and made FOR A PURPOSE.  For me, as a Christ follower, a mom, a woman and a fitness professional, it means I need to be in the game, a presence and a voice, because I believe this is what God has called me to do. If you choose to engage, to interact, to post, and to be a presence online, do it with integrity.  Please. I pray I’m doing it right, or to the very best of my ability. But I may not be.

“How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.” Ann Frank

If you follow someone who makes you feel like you are not enough just the way you are, or that your worth is in your appearance or the shape of your toosh or in how many likes you get or how beautiful your wardrobe is, do yourself a favor and unfollow. It’s easy. Don’t like trash. Don’t comment on it. Don’t encourage it.  Choose to step away if you need a break. Delete your account. Whatever you need to do to maintain integrity in the game. Come back fresh.  Or not at all.

Do what’s best for you, but if you get involved, please do so with a purpose. A message that is positive and applicable and valuable and uplifting and not just about you. This is where I have to check myself. Because I post so much about me, in fact, almost everything I post is self pointed.  Isn’t that true for all of us?

So how can you make a picture of your grande non fat latte something that allows someone to see it and walk away with some nugget of truth? Add something of value to each post. Just one. A little truth bomb that sticks in someone’s mind and changes the course of their day. It doesn’t mean you have to be a writer. Or poetic. Or eloquent.  Post a favorite quote or words of wisdom that stuck with you. Take time to THINK and plan what you’ll say, and why you will say it.

AND I’M TALKING TO MYSELF. This is a big fat gut check.

Consider not just the adults but the kids scrolling through. What message are you sending? Are you saying something worth reading?  Is it a message that stands up against culture or is it just empty posting? I for one want a message. I want my cute full length mirror to represent something more than just new workout clothes or sculpted abs.  I want it to reflect grace and depth of character. I want it to reflect a message of hope and joy and good health and self-care and a life well lived, even if this means fewer likes and fewer followers.

Navigating the online waters is HARD.  And I could leave the fight. I could quit and throw in the towel or focus on likes and comments and followers.  I get tripped up on that stuff all the time. But here’s the thing. IT DOESN’T MATTER.  None of this determines our value, ok? None of it.

We can be a voice. We CAN have a valuable online presence even with just a few followers.  If something we say touches just ONE person, it matters.  And we can set the stage and pave the way for the kids coming along behind us. Because one day, my kids will be old enough to make these choices for themselves, as scary as that is. They will be real live adults.  And I aim to pave the way for them, to teach them, to do my best to protect them from the filth as long as I can, and train them up to use their voice and their presence for absolute good, and to let the rest wash away. I pray their mirror reflects substance and depth and good and Jesus and all the things that a watching and hurting world needs to see.

xoxoxo

Here is the link to the article mentioned above.

 

The post When You Buy A Life Sized Mirror To Improve Your Selfie Game appeared first on Red Head On The Run.


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