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“You can do hard things (they say)….”

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“You can do hard things”  is the mantra of the current fitness world.  I mean, don’t get me wrong. I 100% agree that WE can do hard things.  If you know me, I think that might just sum me up. I am not scared to do hard things, uncomfortable things, messy things (Messy is my forte).  So when I hear that phrase I say “Duh… I do hard things all.day.long.” And because I do hard things daily… I also say, “pass me the 44oz Diet Coke from Casey’s and the 4 count chick-n-minis from …. you know the place. “   Maybe you know that feeling? The feeling that life is chock-full of the hard stuff?  The days you honestly feel like one more hard moment will drive you right to the edge (or the fridge… hypothetically of course).

 

That was me.  That IS me.

Two years ago I found myself thrown back into a world that no longer fit…. I found it uncomfortable and quite honestly unflattering on me.  I was experiencing grief and loss unlike I had ever experienced it before.  I was mottling my way through culture shock while grieving what had been my beautiful life…. a beautiful life I felt was now dead.  A loss of children and a lost calling left my soul empty.  Dead.  No sign of life(wow, sounding kinda bleak right? I said mess was my forte).

You see, for the 5 years prior to that, my family lived in a little corner of Zambia Africa.  It was my sweet spot.  Yes, the hard was really, really hard… but man the sweet was sweeter than anything I’d tasted before.  But to be honest, that’s probably where my perceived need for food as comfort began.  Our day to day lacked so many comforts- electricity, sickness, surrounded by suffering, lack of consistent/predictable water- which had me like “diet coke oh so cold out of the glass bottle- I love you!” and “dear yummy Chinese food in town… you make me happy.”  So maybe, those things followed me….

They followed me as my husband and I attempted the American life with now 7 children, 4 of whom had joined our family as older children while in Zambia.  

9 people + 9 unique transitions = A holy mess.  (more mess than holy… you see the theme).

And thus the “hard” began in a whole new way….

dealing with loss and grief = HARD

teenagers adjusting to new cultures = HARD

attempting to make friends in the Mid West as a Southern gone African girl = HARD

starting over… again = HARD

working 1.5 jobs to help make sure we stayed afloat financially = HARD

OH… and just parenting 7 kids in general without family = HARD

So I laugh in the face of “You can do hard things”  …. Which is naturally why I “NEEDED” some level of comfort right?  I mean, I deserve some kind of feel good…

and because my time is small… that drive thru is the perfect little fix of feel good FAST.

So that brings me to today.  Today I finished Phase 1 of the 80 Day Obsession.  Yall…. How did I even get here?  Honestly I don’t know for sure.  I know that I have been miserable.  I know I’ve gained 30 pounds since returning to America.  I know that my thoughts were often about “what I used to be.”  I think just one day I was DONE.  I needed to find some “fun” and a “hobby.”  I guess Kelly looked like she was having fun so I thought… sure!  Lets try that. (I mean who wouldn’t be inspired by Kelly right?) And can I just keep being honest with ya’ll?   My 30lb overweight self couldn’t hold a regular plank for 30 seconds without collapsing with the shakes.  Let me say I AM NO KELLY.  I’m the currently (not for long) overweight mother of 7 who works full time-who probably even to date couldn’t finish a 5K without stopping. 

I’m just your average working Mom.

BUT… I’m on day #27.  And you know what? Something is coming alive inside of me.  I’m starting to see that the “old me” is still in there- capable of not only hard things in an emotional sense but capable of hard things in a physical sense- like discipline, meal planning, and holding myself up in a plank for longer than 30 seconds… pahahaha.  I am getting stronger on the outside and that is just the tangible picture of what is growing and getting stronger on the inside.  Hope and passion are coming back to life… the ability to see life from a better angle…patience and loving responses are coming more naturally.  These are the things that scales and tapes don’t measure- but to me they are the most valuable.  When you thought a certain part of you was dead… but you start to see signs of life again… the return on investment is astronomical!

So… go ahead… break up with Casey’s gas station, the Chick-fil-A drive thru, and your excuses.  Break up with the toxic beliefs that make you think you can’t anymore.  Break up with the belief that you can’t do one.more.hard.thing.  Cause people, here’s the thing: Doing the RIGHT hard things makes other hard things more doable. Yep. That’s what I said.  Me getting up at 5am because that’s the only time I have… so I can seriously do that hard workout and eat the right nutrition… makes the other hard things coming in my day more doable.  Less dread.  Less frustration and anger.  More energy(contrary to the voices in our head… newsflash: they aren’t the experts).

Ultimately, I’m so thankful.  Thankful that maybe, just maybe, I’m turning a corner.  Thankful that I’m stronger EVEN IF the climb continues to be uphill.  Thankful that when the burn of life gets really heavy and relentless, that I know how to push through and find the small victories along the way.  The strength and hope that I feel coming back to life is just enough to motivate me to keep doing the right hard thing.

*A note to Chick-Fil-A…. please don’t be offended.  I love you, the cow, the whole bit. But it was time.  It’s not you, it’s me.

Thank you Mitzi for sharing your story.  For being brave.  For saying yes to the right hard thing. And for sending me messages that make me snort laugh and cry, all in the same 60 seconds(because facebook messenger can’t get in the game long enough to let us voice message longer than a minute at a time.  I mean, have they met women?). I adore you and am so very thankful for you. You inspire ME.  

 

The post “You can do hard things (they say)….” appeared first on Red Head On The Run.


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